When the Lines of Seasons Blur

Summer in Edmonton came late this year. The majority of the summer in our city was cool and overcast… until the past couple weeks. Right at the tale end of August, as kids are preparing and heading back to school - we sat at temperatures over 30 for a couple of weeks. Now, please don’t hear this as a complaint. As an Alberta girl, I have all but sworn an oath to never complain about hot weather. But I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a little bit disorienting.

One morning this past week, I was able to get out on a run in the morning before the heat overtook the day. The front half of my short run is all up hill and my route takes me through some of the busier streets in my neighbourhood. I try to get the hard parts in first, because the back half retreats down hill along a more scenic and quiet footpath that runs along field and ponds, with trees and flowers. Its a good motivator for me to get the first half done. On my descent, there is this little manmade creek that my kids and I like to frequent and splash around in on walks that is hemmed in by rocks and flowers. As I ran past it that morning, I was struck by the tension that held my view. Sprinkled among the pinks and purples of the flowers in full bloom were dried orange autumn leaves that had recently fallen from trees nearby.
    The morning cool was now being swallowed up by the heat of the rising sun, and I was held captive by the tension of two seasons colliding. Summer and Autumn, both simultaneously present. The death of leaves alongside the lively creek and beautiful pink blooms.
Death and Life were held simultaneously on that warm morning.

    Personally, I like definitive and clear dividing lines. Boundaries, while sometimes feeling restrictive, also make me feel safe. Black and white seems less scary than the blur of grey. But anyone who has lived  awhile knows that the dividing lines between the seasons mirror those of the human experience - it is all a bit blurry. Anyone from Alberta knows that while our calendars declare the first day of Autumn being on September 22, we have already seen signs of Fall weeks before that. It isn’t clear cut. The heat of summer afternoons mingles with the cool frost on the grass in the early morning, and the falling of orange and red leaves scatter across green lawns and flowers in full bloom.

    Summer and Autumn are held simultaneously together under one big sky.
And the blurry lines that mark out your human experience? They are held simultaneously by the sure and steady hands of our one big God.

I am realizing that two things can be seemingly opposite and still true at the same time.
Joy and Grief can be held together.
Sorrow and Gratitude can be felt in the same breath.
Lament and Praise can be woven among notes of the same song.
Disagreement and Love can be expressed together.

The seasons we live within our own stories are not marked by definitive lines. It all blurs together into a beautiful mosaic. Less grey, and more all the beautiful colours of the rainbow.
And that is okay.

Where I often want clear cut and black and white, there is an invitation extended from God to my heart to lean deeper into His care and control.
Where I want to just have it all figured out? God whispers to my longing for control and full understanding and beckons me to trust Him more deeply.

When I long to be able to understand why our bodies don’t always work the way they should and why the darkness of depression can extinguish the light of passion from the human soul, why lives can be taken by the hands of another out of sheer evil, and why our world seems to be barreling towards the brink of chaos……I can hear the voice of One inviting me to still.
The voice of the God who calls Himself our Father. 
The voice of the God who has created all that has been made.
The voice of the God who became man and dwelled among us.
The voice of the God-Man who entered into the timeline of human history and transformed it.

This voice who invites us to still?
He is Jesus.. YHWH…Yeshua.
Fully God and fully man.
The one who died and rose again.
Both Beginning and the End.
King of all Kings, and the Servant of all.
Lion and the Lamb.

This Jesus breaks open all of our boxes and all the lines are blurred.
…Not because there isn’t Truth, but because Truth isn’t black and white boundary lines or boxes to check off. Truth is neither ours to decide, nor does it belong to any of us. Truth with a capital “T” is not “your truth” or “my truth.” Truth is not an ideology or a political viewpoint.
Truth is a Person that we are invited to know, to trust, and to follow.
And now, maybe more than ever, we who claim to follow Jesus need to learn how to live at His feet and follow Him who claims to be the Way, the Truth, and the Life - more than clinging to any ideology.

As the seasons begin to blur, with fallen leaves sprinkled across blossoming flowers, maybe we can look at the personal seasons we find ourselves in and hear the voice of our Saviour inviting us to draw close. Rather than desperately trying to cling to definitive black and white boundary lines within our responsibilities, relationships, or our understanding of the world- maybe we embrace the wonder of blurred colour and come on our knees in humility before the One who understands it all. When we long for answers to the deep questions that pop into our thoughts unbeckoned as we try to fall asleep at night - maybe we choose to trust that the God who holds those answers, holds our hearts too. We can keep moving forward, even not knowing, because we trust the One who does.

As the lines of seasons begin to blur, would you pray with me?

   Jesus, you are the God that is beyond my comprehension, and yet You have made Yourself known. I may not know You fully, but I am thankful that I can know You in part and that you reveal Yourself to all who seek You.
As the lines of seasons begin to blur, Jesus graciously lead us forward.
Where there is every reason to hate, may You teach us to love even our enemies.
Where we are tempted to choose either truth or grace - may You remind us that You are the God who holds both.
Lord, lead us in boldness even as you form within us a spirit of humility.
Where there is grief, Father - may we also know the strength of your joy even in sorrow.
Where there is much work to be done, may we also know the gift of rest.
Where there is resentment and bitterness in relationships, may there also be forgiveness and tenderness.
Where there are places of disappointment and frustration, may there also be laughter and unexpected joy.

Thank You God for life in colour; where You take all the hues of this one messy and beautiful life and create a masterpiece. Where life and death and sorrow and joy, and disagreement and love, and all things in between can mingle together and be formed into something beautiful as we bring it to you.

In Jesus Name,

Amen


Walking with you,

  Jalene

P.S. If you want a Psalm to meditate on as you mull over the idea of living in blurred seasons, read slowly through Psalm 131. It has been one that I come back to again and again.